An Italian immigrant went to the doctor complaining that he wasn't sure how to make his new wife pregnant. 

After struggling with language barriers between he and the immigrant, the doctor simplified his advice, "Just stick your longest thing where your wife is hairiest."

Two months later, the Italian came back to the doctor to complain that his wife still wasn't pregnat. "I did what you told me, said the immigrant, I've been sticking my nose in her armpit every night & nothing happens."