Newcastle Windaz Too Thoosand

It has come to the attention of Microsoft that several thousand copies of a Geordie version of Windows 2000, otherwise known as "Windaz Too Thoosand", have been accidentally shipped out of Newcastle.

If you have purchased one of the Newcastle editions, you may need some help understanding the commands. You will be able to tell immediately if you have a copy of "Windaz 2000" by:

1) The hour-glass has been replaced by a tipping bottle of Newcastle Brown.
2) The Recycle Bin is labelled as "Shite".
3) Dial-up network is called "Me mates".
4) The Control Panel is known as " How we fook aboot wi the settins".
5) The hard drive is referred to as " Big disk wi aall me stoof on it".

Other features of note are:

1) The "OK" button is labelled "Alreet".
2) The "Cancel" button is labelled "Fook that".
3) The "Yes" button is labelled "Aye".
4) The "No" button is labelled "Nee fookin chance".
5) The "Goto" button is labelled "Owa there".
6) "Help" is known as "Ah cannit dee it".
7) The Personal folder/ My Documents is called "Me Shite".

Also, Windaz 2000 does not recognise capital letters nor punctuation marks. There are also some applications written especially for "Windaz 2000", and they are:

1) "Tipe Rita" - a word processor.
2) "Cullarin Book" - a graphics package.
3) "Addin masheen" - a calculator.
4) "Dole 2000" - Accounting software.
5) "Porn" - Internet Explorer