Paddy and Paddy, two Irishmen, went out one day and each bought a pig.

When they got home, Paddy turned to Paddy and said, "Paddy, me ol' mate, how are we going to tell who owns which Feckin' Pig?"

Paddy says, "Well Paddy, I'll cut one of te ears off my Feckin' Pig, and ten we can tell them apart."

"Ah, dat'd be grand," says Paddy.

This worked fine until a couple of weeks later, when Paddy stormed into the house.

"Paddy" he said, "Your Feckin Pig has chewed the ear off my Feckin Pig.

Now we got two feckin pigs with one ear each. How are we going to tell who owns which feckin pig??"

"Well Paddy," says Paddy,"I'll cut ta other ear off my feckin pig.

Ten we'll ave two feckin pigs and only one of them will avan ear."

"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

Again, this worked fine until a couple of weeks later, when Paddy again stormed into the house.

"Paddy," he said, "Your feckin pig has chewed the other ear offa my feckin pig!!!."

"Now, we got two feckin pigs with no feckin ears!!!. How we gonna tell who owns which feckin pig?"

"Ah, dis is serious, Paddy" said Paddy. " I'll tell ya what I'll do. I'll cut de tail offa my feckin pig. Den we'll av two feckin pigs with no feckin ears and only one feckin tail."

"Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

Another couple of weeks went by and.......you guessed it, Paddy stormed into the house once more.

"PADDY," shouted Paddy, "YOUR FECKIN PIG HAS CHEWED THE FECKIN TAIL OFFA MY FECKIN PIG, AND NOW WE GOT TWO FECKIN PIGS WITH NO FECKIN EARS AND NO FECKIN TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. HOW DE FECK ARE WE GONNA FECKIN TELL 'EM APART!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ah, Feck it" says Paddy, "how's about you have the black one, and I'll have the white one"