Four professionals - an engineer, a chemist, an accountant and an IT consultant - were all boasting about how clever their dogs were

The engineer said that his dog could do something pretty impressive, so the others asked him to show them. "Setsquare, come here" shouted the engineer,"do your stuff." The dog walked over, picked up a ruler and a pencil and drew a perfect square on a piece of paper that was on the floor. The others agreed that this was pretty impressive.

The chemist also said that his dog was very intelligent, and offered to show the others. "Prescription, come here, do your stuff". Prescription ran over and went to the fridge, where he took out a bottle of milk. Then he took a 10 ml glass and poured the milk into the glass, right up to the top of the rim, without spilling any. Again everyone thought this was pretty cool.

Then the accountant called his dog over. "Spreadsheet, get to work". Spreadsheet ran into the kitchen and brought out a box of twelve cookies. He then opened the box and divided the cookies into four equal piles of three cookies each. The four professionals were suitably impressed. They turned to the IT Consultant and said "What can your dog do?"

The IT consultant called his dog over. "Wanker, come over here, get to work." Wanker ambled over, drank the milk, ate the cookies, dumped on the paper on the floor, shagged the three other dogs, presented an invoice for two thousand pounds, lit a cigar, got into a Jaguar and fucked off down the pub.